The last couple days have been better than the last post, but I've gotten to the point where I don't care anymore, and I've gone on strike at home. Why, you ask? Well, let me fill you in...
My children have become the bossiest, most disrespectful, lazy, foul-mouthed things I have ever come across at their age. They think they don't have to listen, they can do what they want, and that we're supposed to give them the world with nothing in return. This is my fault, because when I was working we would take any extra money we had and get them things that they really didn't need. I felt guilty for being away and working so much, and all they did was ask me when I was going to be home more and if I really had to go to work because they wanted me to stay home and spend time with them. So, to make up for it, I got them things. However, it has come back to bite me in the butt. Hard.
Now all they do is ask me when I'm going to go back to work. They ask for this, they ask for that, and when we say no they whine, cry, and throw a fit. And let me tell you - there is nothing I hate more than a whiny kid or a kid crying for no reason whatsoever except to do it for attention. I swear most of the time I have wounded cattle living here, not children, because that's what they sound like. "Whhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeee caaaaaaannnnnnnnnnn'ttttttt IIIIII hhhhaavvvvvvvveeeeeee iiiiiiiitttttt?????????" is all I hear anymore. Or, "Inevergettodonuthinorgonowhere!" (insert long, high pitched wail). To which I reply, "Well, we don't have a lot of money anymore because I haven't worked for almost a year. Maybe if you helped out more and did your chores when I asked or told you to then you would get to go places more or get a treat, kind of like an allowance or something." (Insert more slurred-together words that resemble a drunk person, whining, wailing, crying, etc. about how they help out). To which I reply, "And I cook for you, and I clean up after you, and I do your laundry - which, might I remind you, I don't dirty the clothing, and I act as your taxi and don't charge you a dime for the gas or mileage. The least you could do is pick up after yourselves and help around the house." To which they stomp off after whining a bit more when I tell them I don't want to hear it and they need to go clean up their room, clean the living room, or pick up the bathroom.
Well, yesterday when I picked them up from school the kitchen and dining room were all but cleaned. I just had to do a few dishes by hand, unload/reload the dishwasher, and sweep and mop the floor. I told them on the way home that they needed to pick up the living room, that it wouldn't take long if they both did it, then they needed to work on their homework until it was time to go to Levi's football practice. They both agreed. However, when they got home it was a totally different story. I turned the TV off, one of them turned it back on. I asked them to pick up, went into the kitchen to finish, looked into the living room 5 minutes later, and they're both playing the XBox with the volume down all the way so I won't know they turned it on. I turned it off, took the power cords to the Wii and the XBox, said get your butts in gear, heard excessive whining and crying, I think a few words that a 6 year old and 7 year old should not say, and then them fighting because one won't help the other pick up. Typical stuff around our house, and I'm getting tired of it. I tried several different things to motivate them, from promising them a treat to sending them to their rooms, I tried everything short of beating them senseless (which, BTW, I would never do... very rarely do they even get spankings).
So finally I walk into the living room and stand there for a minute until they notice me and quit trying to kill each other. I look at them, walk over to the recliner, pick up the computer, sit down, and say, "Fine - kill each other. Do what you want. I'm tired of it, and I'm on strike. This means that I'm not cooking for you, I'm not cleaning up after you, I'm not buying you anything, I'm not taking you anywhere but school, and I'm not doing your laundry. Rowdy, do what you want, go where you want, but if you get kidnapped I'm not looking for you or putting up a reward to get you back (because he has a habit of running off and not telling us where he is going). Levi, I suggest you find someone to take you to football practice because I'm not going to do it. Until you guys learn some respect and help out around here, you're on your own. Better hope Paul decides to do these things for you or you're S.O.L....Good Luck!"
You think that would have motivated them a little, but it didn't. They just started fighting again and blaming each other for me going on strike. I have done this a couple of times before over the summer, and they didn't like it much. They know I'm serious when I say this, yet they don't do anything to help the situation. So Levi goes and wakes up Paul to take him to practice, Paul comes out and says, "What now?" To which I reply that I'm on strike again until I get some help around here. He gives his standard "Whatever" reply, gets dressed, asks me if I'm going. Of course I answer no, he says whatever again, takes Levi to practice and takes Rowdy with him.
So today is a free day for me. I took the older boys to school this morning and I'm sitting here with Nick again waiting for MY clothes to get done in the washer and dryer. He's watching The Karate Kid and playing cars in the little floor space left in the living room due to everyone else's crap all over the place, asking me every five minutes if it's time for him to go to school yet. So what do you do with people who won't help out around the house? I have yet to figure that one out. You can't spank them cause it doesn't hurt, they just don't care, or the neighbors call Child Protective Services because they think you are killing the kid cause they don't agree with it. Yelling does no good, all that does is make everyone shut down and give you a sore throat. Sending them to their room does no good (my kids just take the screen out and jump out the window, and since sitting in front of their bedroom door or outside their window isn't productive for either of you, what's the point?), so what do you do? We even tried kneeling in the corner on the hard floor for a period of time, and all that did was get their clothes dirty... it didn't phase them one bit! We took away all the toys, video games, and grounded them to the house, but that just drove us crazy. They haven't had a TV in their room since we moved back into the house, so that's out of the question. When they were little, I used to take ahold of their shoulders, walk them over to the item, tell them to pick it up (if they didn't I would bend them down by tugging on their arm and if they still wouldn't pick it up I would put the item in their hand), walk them over to where the item went, and tell them to put the item away. After about 4-5 items, they would get tired of me doing that and just pick up. Now, however, they are getting too big for me to do that. Have you ever tried wrestling with a 6 year old that weighs 105 lbs??? N O T F U N. And usually one, or both, of you end up getting hurt. The last time I tried that with him, he went limp and I caught him under the arms before he hit his head on the floor, but my back paid the price. I have a bad back anyway from the pregnancy and delivery of Rowdy (he weighed 10 lbs, the Dr. was stupid, and I paid the price). So what to do? That is going to be my goal today... to figure outhow to get these kids to help out short of killing myself or them in the process.
On another note, Paul has been making an effort to spend more time with me. On Tuesday he got home from work right around the time I had to take Nick to school, so he went with us. Instead of going right back home, we went and got some Chinese food for lunch at the grocery store up the street and actually sat in the kitchen and ate lunch together. It was nice. When it was time to pick up kids, he voluntarily went and picked them up, then we both went to football practice and he sat there and actually talked to me instead of playing on his phone the whole time like he usually does or only saying something when Rowdy is doing something he shouldn't be or when Levi isn't paying attention. That was also nice even though I really wan't in the mood to talk. He was making an effort, so I did too. Yesterday, he stayed up for an hour when he got home instead of going straight to bed, and then when he got home from taking Levi to practice he took care of dinner and paid me a compliment on the progress of the kitchen. It's nice to feel wanted and appreciated. I haven't felt like that in a long time. It always amazes me how far a thank you or I appreciate you in one form or another goes with me. It doesn't take much, just a couple of words now and again, a smile or touch here and there, to let someone know how you feel. People forget this, and that is how relationships start to fall apart. When you throw in the lack of communication and never getting to see each other or spend QUALITY time together, that's when they end up destroyed. It takes more work to put them back together than it does to maintain them and let each other know that you care and you appreciate each other.
And on that note, my clothes just got done, so I have some folding and hanging to do. Until next time, make the effort to show that special person in your life that you care about them and appreciate everything they do - you never know what you might get in return.
-- Ralph Marston
0 comments:
Post a Comment